Lessons from the Universe When Things Don’t Work Out

By Erin Daugherty

What is the meaning of failure? 

How can you use failure to drive you further towards success?

In this blog post, I will explore the significance of failure and what is gained from it.

Failure is not rejection – it is initiation to what is next. 

But in the moment of experiencing failure, it feels devastating and crushing. Failure makes it difficult to feel confident and optimistic for the future. It might stir up thoughts about not being good enough, or doubt your capabilities. 

In order to reframe our relationship with failure, and what to do when we experience it, we must first understand the significance of failure in our lives. 

Failure can feel like a roadblock, a sign from the Universe to pause whatever you are working on, or maybe even completely stop the pursuit of the dream you have been working towards. The appropriate response to failure is not clear cut. 

Maybe in one instance of failure, it is the appropriate time to release a particular dream or goal, and shift your focus towards something more aligned and attainable. However, there are going to be situations where you might feel even more determined to continue working towards your goals, even after experiencing a setback. 

Failure is an inevitable part of our lives, and one of our most valued teachers. In the darkest moments of doubt, reflection, and processing, the truth of your journey is revealed to you. The reasons for your dreams and continuing on despite the hardships and setbacks are brought forth through the teachings of failure. It can prompt a turning point for your life, shifting you to a more aligned state of determination and action towards your goals.

The cycle of success and failure is a delicate energetic balance that is necessary to our growth and evolution as human beings. One would not exist without the other. They are equally, incredibly valuable teachers to support your progress. Oftentimes however, the experience of failure makes a deeper impact on our souls and lives - inciting an even deeper reaction than success might. 

Failure invokes a meaningful reaction due to our strong attachment to experiencing the results of success, and believing that success will happen. When the success we are dreaming of doesn’t occur and we are met with failure instead, it challenges our expectations towards success and faces us with the decision of what to do next. 

This makes failure a perfect catapult to implement changes that support your future success in a definitive, aligned manner. Failure presents us with the opportunity to sit back, evaluate, and look at things from a different perspective, before continuing on your way. 

As humans, we all have visions and dreams of how we would like to see certain scenarios in our lives play out. The desire to see things through to the finish line, and feel good and proud of ourselves in doing so, is a driving force in our lives. There is a piece of all of us that wants to be in control, and complete projects to a standard of perfection that isn’t always attainable. 

The experience of failure humbles and reminds you that there is always more to learn in order to achieve better results next time. Failure supports you in releasing your desires for perfection, in order to accept the lessons that failure brings.

Reframing failure to view it as an opportunity for growth creates a more empowering dynamic between yourself and the world around you. One of the most affirming ways to feel in control of your life, is to shape your perspective where you are able to be as positive as possible. This does not mean to be blind to when things aren’t working in your favor, but to use those difficult moments to direct you on what to do and where to go next. 

Failure might feel like disappointment, rejection, and embarrassment.

Failure through a lens of love is redirection, opportunity, and evolution. 

 

The next step in reframing your relationship with failure to be more positive, is practicing these energetic shifts when you are confronted with it. 

Initially, failure never feels good. It’s okay and healthy to accept this aspect of the emotional experience. 

One of my favorite tools for processing failure is journaling about those experiences. Written reflections are a wonderful way to bring forth a deeper understanding of why you are experiencing the ups and downs of life that you are, and how to respond in alignment with the life you want to create.

Failure in particular often feels like some of the “downs” in life. Journaling your emotions in a private place allows you to develop a more loving and encouraging relationship with yourself, even if your thoughts and emotions are negative at first. 

Once you’ve released all of your present emotions, pause for a moment to see what responses are coming forth. We all have an inner dialogue inside of us. The key to reframing your relationship with failure is opening up space for this inner dialogue to happen in a safe space. 

Your initial inner responses might be reasons, defenses, and possibly even excuses for why things did not turn out how you had hoped. These are all completely reasonable reactions that deserve the space to be explored. Maybe there were external factors that prevented your recent success, and solidified your failure. 

The goal now is to dig even deeper. Yes, there were completely reasonable external factors as to why you did not succeed. But, what about the internal factors?

Did you fully, for one-hundred percent, believe that you could succeed in the first place?

Do you have underlying fears of experiencing this success? 

Did you choose to procrastinate, or fail to take necessary action to support your goal?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions - why?

As you process your answers to these questions, allow your further inner responses to rise to the surface. This time, allow them to be words of encouragement, affirmation, and understanding. 

It is okay to be scared of both success and failure. 

It is okay to doubt yourself, but now is the time to remember how capable you truly are.

Everyone gets overwhelmed, and procrastinates projects of importance every now and again.

You are only human.

And your best is more than enough. 

This is the perfect opportunity to speak kindly, comforting, and encouraging to yourself – so that you can get back up and continue pursuing your dreams. This is how you reframe your relationship with failure. 

By allowing yourself the grace to experience failure, and showing yourself understanding, compassion, and encouragement through every step of the way. 

Thank you for joining me in exploring the significance of failure, and how to have a healthy relationship with its experience. 

Sending love and light always,

The Spiritual Sunflower